So we had "bring your dog to work day," which already felt like a risky decision because most of the people here can barely manage themselves, let alone another living thing. But everyone was excited. Like weirdly excited. Like this was going to fix morale or something.
It started off normal enough. A few dogs, some wagging, a couple people pretending to work while sitting on the floor petting them. Then more dogs showed up. And then more.
At one point I looked around and realized there were more dogs than people, which felt like a bad sign that no one acknowledged.
The first issue was the barking. One dog barked, then another dog responded, and then suddenly it turned into what I can only describe as a conference call between dogs. Nobody stopped it. People just kept talking louder over it like that was helping.
Then one of the dogs got loose. Not like, wandering. I mean full sprint. This thing ran through the office like it had a meeting to get to. It knocked over a chair, slid across the floor, and disappeared into another department. Someone yelled the dog's name but there were now five dogs with the same name, so that did nothing.
About an hour in, there was an "incident." I didn't see it happen, but I saw the aftermath. There was a small circle of people standing around pretending not to look at the floor while someone quietly said, "It's fine, I've got it," which is how you know it was not fine. Meanwhile, my manager spent most of the day talking to one specific golden retriever like it was a senior executive. At one point he actually said, "Love your energy," which I have never heard him say to a human person.
By the afternoon, nobody was working. One dog had claimed a chair. Another was under a desk refusing to move. Someone was holding a meeting while actively throwing a ball down the hallway.
At some point I realized I hadn't done anything all day and no one else had either, but somehow it still felt like a very full workday. Before we left, someone said, "We should do this more often," and several people agreed, which was honestly the most concerning part of the entire experience.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure one of the dogs has a better reputation here than I do now.
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