WITNESS STATEMENTS

While exiting a grocery store, Hank discovered a coin-operated childrens horse ride near the entrance and appeared to interpret it as a legitimate riding opportunity. After inserting a quarter, Hank mounted the plastic horse with complete seriousness, sitting upright with both hands gripping the handles as the ride slowly rocked back and forth. Moments later he removed his cowboy hat and began waving it enthusiastically in the air while the mechanical horse continued its gentle bouncing motion. Witnesses report Hank shouted encouragement to the machine as if it were participating in a rodeo event. The situation concluded when the ride stopped and Hank sat silently for several seconds, appearing disappointed that the horse had run out of stamina.